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The Potter Law Firm

North Carolina and Kentucky Estate Planning Attorneys

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Home » Services » Trust Administration » The Mourner’s Bill of Rights

The Mourner’s Bill of Rights

By Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.

    1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief. No one else will grieve in exactly the same way you do. So, when you turn to others for help, don’t allow them to tell you what you should or should not be feeling.
    2. You have the right to talk about your grief. Talking about your grief will help you heal. Seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you want about your grief.
    3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions. Confusion, disorientation, fear, guilt, and relief are just a few of the emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey. Others may try to tell you that feeling angry, for example, is wrong. Don’t take these judgmental responses to heart. Instead, find listeners who will accept your feelings without condition.
    4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably leave you feeling fatigued. Respect what your body and mind are telling you. Get daily rest. Eat balanced meals. And don’t allow others to push you into doing things you don’t feel ready to do.
    5. You have the right to experience grief ”attacks.” Sometimes, out of nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. This can be frightening, but it is normal and natural. Find someone who understands and will let you talk it out.
    6. You have the right to make use of ritual. The funeral ritual does more than acknowledge the death of someone. It helps provide you with the support of caring people. More important, the funeral is a way for you to mourn. If others tell you that rituals such as these are silly or unnecessary, don’t listen.
    7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality. If faith is a part of your life, express it in ways that seem appropriate to you. Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious beliefs. If you feel angry at God, find someone to talk with who won’t be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.
    8. You have the right to search for meaning. You may find yourself asking, “Why did she or he die? Why this way? Why now?” Some of your questions may have answers, but some may not. And watch out for the clichéd responses some people may give you. Comments like, “It was God’s will” or “Think of what you have to be thankful for” are not helpful and you do not have to accept them.
    9. You have the right to treasure your memories. Memories are one of the best legacies that exist after the death of someone loved. You will always remember. Instead of ignoring your memories, find others with whom you can share them.
    10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal. Reconciling your grief will not happen quickly. Remember, grief is a process, not an event. Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid people who are impatient and intolerant with you. Neither you nor those around you must forget that the death of someone loved changes your life forever.

 

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Testimonials

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Overall The Potter Firm was very professional. They took what could of been a very complicated process and were able to break it down so it was a lot easier to understand. We are confident we now have made the right decisions in our estate planning. Good firm to work with.

DKS & KMS Client Review August 28, 2020

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John Potter has been a real pleasure to work with. He is very knowledgeable and explains things in a very simplistic manner so the average person can understand how/why the laws are written. He is very attentive and asks questions in such a way that not only helps him understand your goals, but also helps you think about what type of goals and expectations you should be considering. Exemplary client service.

David J. Client Review August 28, 2020

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My husband and I selected Ms. Potter to assist with our small business. She responsive and attentive every time I have a question or need assistance, and is extremely knowledgeable and able to answer any legal question I have had. I know I can count on Ms. Potter for all of my business legal needs and I would highly recommend her to anyone needing legal assistance with such.

Jillian Client Review August 28, 2020

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Where We Are

Ashland

ASHLAND
1620 Carter Avenue
Ashland, KY 41101-7631
Phone: (606) 324-5516
Fax: (606) 324-4766

Charlotte

CHARLOTTE
15720 Brixham Hill Avenue
Suite 300,
Charlotte, NC 28277
Phone: (704) 944-3245

Huntersville

HUNTERSVILLE
11330 Vanstory Drive
Huntersville, NC 28078
Phone: (704) 944-3245

Northern Kentucky

NORTHERN KENTUCKY
7310 Turfway Road
Suite 550,
Florence, KY 41042
Phone: (859) 372-6655

Office Hours

Monday8:30 AM - 4:30 PM
Tuesday8:30 AM - 4:30 PM
Wednesday8:30 AM - 4:30 PM
Thursday8:30 AM - 4:30 PM
Friday8:30 AM - 3:00 PM

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